Interfaith Weddings: 8 Planning Tips

Interfaith Weddings: 8 Planning Tips

Planning an interfaith ceremony can be tricky. You'll likely face three major challenges: finding an officiant; combining two sets of traditions without upsetting your families too much; and creating a ceremony that reflects your commitment and your common values. Here are some how-tos to help you deal.

1. Have a Long Engagement
Take an entire year (or longer) to identify and work on reconciling issues likely to arise during your marriage. The issue of religion -- its role in your wedding, marriage, and future family -- should be examined very closely. Discuss the religious practices you would like to continue observing, especially when you have children. Nothing need be set in stone, but it's important to be open about your expectations for the future.

2. Gather Information
Take courses in each other's religions. Even if you don't intend to practice either religion at home, the study will give you a greater understanding of each other's beliefs and assumptions.

3. Go for Counseling
Consult clergy from each of your religions, preferably someone with training in family counseling, to help you two discuss the issues you face. You could also contact a family planning organization or therapist for objective pre-wedding counseling.

4. Be Patient With Parents
If the folks are having a hard time dealing with the religious differences, try to understand that they are mourning for their own unfulfilled expectations.
Give them time to adjust to the idea, and try not to get defensive.

5. Visit Each Other's Family
Visit early, visit often. Interfaith marriage necessitates a partial "moving in" to another faith or culture. Spending time with each other's parents can be a good introductory course in what to expect.

6. Find the Right Officiant(s)
Choose an officiant (or two) who makes both of you feel comfortable and who believes in your union. Ask around -- chances are that other interfaith couples in your area have already searched for (and found) local officiants willing to perform interfaith marriages.

7. Include Both Faiths -- And Both Families
Early in the process, listen to both families' views and expectations for your wedding day. You and your sweetie should then decide how to proceed -- and lovingly (or at least nicely) discuss your choices with your families. Be open and honest with everyone from the start, so they know what you're planning and why. Many couples create a wedding program that includes explanations and transliterations of specific religious customs, so family and friends can understand and participate in unfamiliar traditions.

8. Personalize Your Ceremony
Take great care in planning the ceremony. Some interfaith couples choose to follow tradition closely, while others stray from convention. Your officiant(s) can help you design a ceremony that works for you. Work together to select readings and rituals that are significant to both of you. This tough-but-worthwhile process will do much more than solidify wedding-day plans -- you'll get a head start learning to compromise, the golden rule of marriage.

Courtesy of -- The Knot

Baby Shower Checklist

Baby Shower Checklist

Hosting a successful baby shower comes down to planning and organization. The following time-line and step-by-step planning guide will help you organize and prepare a successful baby shower, stay in control during the baby shower party and ensure the mommy-to-be has the time of her life.

Two months before the Baby Shower
* Create the baby shower guest list (Things to Consider: Will you invite women only, or couples?)
* Determine a budget for the baby shower
* Set the date of the baby shower
* Decide on the baby shower location (Things to Consider: Will you have the shower at your home, in a restaurant, a church hall or community hall, or a hotel reception room?)
* Book any special vendors, entertainment or other surprises, if applicable.

One month before the Baby Shower
* Decide on the baby shower theme, the style, formality, and mood of the shower. (Things to Consider: Formal or casual, elegant or whimsical?
* Select and mail the baby shower invitations – include directions (Things to Consider: Will you purchase invitations or make your own? Will you use fill in the blank cards, or custom order them pre-printed?)
* Plan for the baby shower menu (Things to Consider: Will it be a sit down meal, a buffet, pot luck, finger foods, coffee and dainties, wine and cheese, afternoon tea? Who will provide the food? Caterers, restaurant, do-it-yourself?)

Three weeks before the Baby Shower
* Order a the baby shower cake
* Order balloons and flowers if there are decorations
* Order tables and chairs if hosting the baby shower at home
* Order any other special entertainment or surprises
* Order / Book any party rental supplies you may require, if applicable (tables, chairs, linens, outdoor tent, dishware, serving accessories, theme decorations...)
* Purchase your gift for the guest of honor, or the group gift for the guest of honor if you have opted for one large gift from all guests.
* Purchase a guest book or memory album for guests to sign (or make a memory album)

Two weeks before the Baby Shower
* Decide whether you will include party games, and if so, decide on which games
* Buy baby shower decorations, game prizes and party favors
* Buy plates, cups, eating utensils, tablecloths, etc. if you’re hosting the baby shower at home
* Finalize the baby shower menu with the Caterer or Restaurant
* Plan which baby shower games you want guest to play

One week before the Baby Shower
* Establish a final count on your baby shower guest list, particularly if a sit down meal will be served.
* Call invited guests who have not RSVP’d to the baby shower
* Wrap baby shower game prizes and party favors
* Buy film and batteries for camera and video recorder
* If hosting the baby shower at home, begin to clean the home
* Prepare a printed baby shower menu, table assignments and name tags (if desired)
* Buy your baby shower gift for mommy-to-be
* Select background music and make sure you have any equipment you require.
* Order a corsage from a florist for the guest of honor

The day before the Baby Shower
* Begin decorating if you’re hosting the baby shower at home
* Set up tables, chairs, food table, drink table, etc. if you’re hosting the baby shower at home
* Buy baby shower drinks if you’re hosting the baby shower at home
* Purchase food and prepare platters and/or pick up any special food platters ordered.
* Make telephone calls to confirm with all vendors, if applicable.
* Have cash on hand to tip vendors, if applicable.
* If you’re cooking anything for the baby shower, do whatever you can today
* If you are baking the baby shower cake, today is the day
* Make sure camera and / or video camera are ready to go, complete with film, batteries, and any other necessary accessories like a power cord, tripod, etc.
* Wrap gifts/ prizes for game winners and get the baby shower games ready – make sure you have plenty of pencils
* Prepare a time-line for the day of the baby shower so that you stay on schedule. - The time-line should include last minute tasks before the baby shower begins and a schedule to keep the party on track (baby showers are generally 4 to 6 hours)
* Double-check that every item on the checklist before “The Day of the Baby Shower” is done
* Buy flowers if applicable.
* Pick up cake if applicable
* Prepare street signs leading to the party, if necessary.
* Pick up any party rentals that are not being delivered.
* Pick up the corsage for the guest of honor if its not being delivered
* Tidy up house and party area(s).

The Day of the Baby Shower!
* Follow your baby shower time-line to stay organized and calm
* Pick up balloons, flowers and/or other centerpieces if you have ordered them
* Pick up the baby shower cake if you are not baking it yourself
* Finish setting up baby shower decorations and put party favors out on a table
* Set up the gift table.
* Set up the guest book on a table near the door so guests can sign it upon arrival
* Buy plenty of ice for drinks and setup up drinks and cups
* Set out food on tables if you’re hosting the baby shower at home
* Designate certain guests to take pictures and video of the baby shower
* When mommy-to-be is opening baby shower gifts, keep trash bags close by
* Write down the baby shower gifts and who they were given by – use the Invite/RSVP
list to make sending thank you cards easy for mommy-to-be
* Have fun and rest assured that you have planned a wonderful day for mommy-to-be!

Baby Shower Planning Suggestions

Baby Shower Planning Suggestions

Having a baby shower can be a lot of planning for the baby shower organizer. A standard baby shower itinerary makes it easier to throw the baby shower. It is important to point out that there is no right and wrong order of events. Make sure the mommy to be is the focus and ask her what she would like to see as well. Here are some of our suggestions:

1. Welcome Period: Have a baby shower sign in sheet where guests can sign a pre-made cute board/book or something creative. This is great for those memories to look back on to see who attended the shower. It is also great to leave room and ask for a remark or advice as it is fun to read. Have someone who knows the most guests at the front to greet.

2. Ice Breakers and Mingling: The beginning of the baby shower is great for people to get to know one another, especially if you have different groups of friends and family. Have a pre-designated spot for baby shower gifts. Have some finger foods and drinks as people feel more comfortable with food and drink as they meet and greet.

3. MC (Master of Ceremony) and Organizers Welcome: Have everyone sit down (unless you are at a restaurant with everyone already sitting) and have a little speech made to introduce the mother-to-be as well as thanking everyone from coming. The mother to be may want to say something which is great. It is fun to let everyone know to take pictures, sign the welcome book/board if they have not and to get food. More time to socialize and for the mother to be to walk around is fun.

4. Game Time: While people are finishing eating, it is fun to start the baby shower games and have those baby shower guests that want to play get involved while the others can watch or socialize. Some games are great to play as a group so no one feels like they have to participate if they just want to be an active spectator.

5. Dessert Time: After playing the baby shower games, it is great to serve the desserts. Whether you have them on a table or are at a restaurant and are each served, this is a great time for speeches for anyone that wants to speak and give their funny or sentimental thoughts about the mother and father to be.

6. Gift Giving: It is not customary to give gifts but nice to the host(s) and planner(s) who threw the baby shower as a gift for helping. This gift can be more sentimental than expensive and is a little thank you and memento. This is the time the mommy-to-be usually thanks everyone and especially those that helped plan the party as well as her mom and mother-in-law.

7. Present Opening: It is customary at the end of the baby shower to open the baby shower gifts for those who want to stay. Many like to watch what the mommy-to-be gets as gifts. The end time is always nice as no-one is committed to have to stay for the entire gift opening. It is also a time for social conversation for those who want to sit in the back and talk. It is very helpful for someone to take notes for the mommy-to-be on what she gets from whom so she can later write the thank you cards. Even better, it is a major gift to help write out the thank you envelopes and beginning of each card as a gift for the mommy-to-be which she will appreciate.

8. End of the Party: As the party winds down, it is usually the time that people say their goodbyes and eat the last of the dessert. It is helpful for someone to help the mommy-to-be with the clean up (if at a house) and to get the gifts into the car (if driving).

The New Wedding Rules

The New Wedding Rules

Wedding Rules You Don't Have to Follow, Anymore!

Yes, it's true there are a lot of traditions when it comes to weddings, but things have changed too. Here it is in black and white -- those formally set-in-stone rules that just don't hold up anymore (despite what the parents say).

1. Old School Rule: The bride's parents pay for the wedding.
New Rule: Every couple funds the festivities in different ways. Maybe your mom and dad want to pay for every single thing, but, unlike in the past where the bride's family was expected to foot the whole bill, they're in no way obligated to now. Grooms' parents and the couples themselves chip in nearly as often as brides' parents do. It just depends on your family's situation. If you'd like your fiancé's parents' help, your husband-to-be will need to ask for it—not you, and certainly not your parents. Just remember: Whoever pays gets a say. If you know your mother-in-law will insist on an in-church ceremony if she contributes and you've got your heart set on exchanging vows on a sandy beach, you may be happier cutting your guest list than asking her to contribute anything.

2. Old School Rule: You must invite everyone with a guest.
New Rule: If they'll know others, skip the plus-one. It's still polite (and very appreciated!) to invite guests' significant others, but if you're inviting a group of coworkers, for instance, and two or more of them are single, they should have no problem attending solo. Only when guests won't know anyone aside from the couple is it mandatory to let them bring a date. It’s kind to invite attendants with guests too (they are shelling out big bucks for their attire!).

3. Old School Rule: Your registry should consist entirely of housewares for your new home.
New Rule: You can register for anything from honeymoon hotel accommodations to skiing equipment. Guess what, Grandma? Lots of couples live together before they get married and may have all of the towels and blenders they'll ever want. You can request upgraded versions of home items you already own, but nothing should stop you from creating a honeymoon or otherwise "untraditional" registry. These are your gifts, and you need to be happy with them! You should feel free to include a ping-pong table for your basement or the complete Sex and the City DVD collection on your wish list if you can't use yet another kitchen appliance.

4. Old School Rule: You must wear a white gown.
New Rule: Wear whatever you want! Sure, most brides go the white or ivory route, but for your wedding day attire, anything goes: from a cute cherry red flapper dress to a silver, slinky sheath to a (gasp!) black pantsuit. As long as you feel fabulous in your outfit, it can be any color or style. You can even skip the veil! Warning: Your fashion choices may wind up shocking your older guests, especially the ones who equate wearing white with "purity." If you'd prefer that your look pleases the crowd but aren't willing to go totally traditional, try working in a hint of color via a dress sash, your shoes, jewelry or a hair accessory.

5. Old School Rule: Your mom can't throw your shower.
New Rule: Anyone can throw your shower! People used to think it was rude for the bride's mother to host a party where the sole purpose was for her daughter to get gifts. Other close family members, like sisters, were similarly forbidden from hosting. We didn't get this then, and we don't get it now, and luckily, today's mothers of the bride are ignoring the passé etiquette.

6. Old School Rule: You have to have a rehearsal dinner.
New Rule: You can skip a rehearsal dinner. When couples lived separately before they got married and engagements were a few weeks long, not a year or more, the rehearsal dinner was the first time both sets of parents could meet. Since the mothers and fathers of the bride and groom would be responsible for introductions at the wedding the next day, they needed to see each other first! Having a rehearsal dinner is still smart when your and your fiancé's parents aren't acquainted, but if there's no time or room in the budget, then it's okay to skip it, especially if your ceremony rehearsal has to take place on a weekday or minutes before your actual wedding. It's nice to treat out-of-towners to a welcome meal, or you can just gather your closest local friends and family for a pre-wedding dinner, but neither is required.

7. Old School Rule: The first time you see your groom on your wedding day should be at your ceremony.
New Rule: You can spend every minute with your groom before the ceremony. It's not bad luck if your fiancé catches a glimpse of you in your gown on the wedding day (or even before it, but why not surprise him if you both can hold out?).

8. Old School Rule: Ceremony seating is based on a bride's side and groom's side.
New Rule: Guests can choose to sit wherever they want! It used to be that guests of the bride sat on the left side at the ceremony and guests of the groom sat on the right. Even now, plenty of your guests will go by this guideline to find their seats. But if your fiancé's family is huge and yours is tiny, your ceremony will look a little weird if most people are seated on the right side. If you're having ushers, ask them to direct your VIPs, parents, grandparents and the like to prime seats toward the front of either side and instruct your other guests to sit in any open seat. No ushers? No problem. Place a sign in the area where people pick up their programs and have it read, "Sit anywhere you like!" That'll send the message loud and clear.

9. Old School Rule: You must walk down the aisle.
New Rule: You don't have to walk anywhere! Perhaps you're a flats-wearing gal and your trip down the aisle may turn into a real trip in your wedding day heels. Or maybe you'd prefer to skip all the hoopla that's associated with that long walk. Whatever your rationale, it's your prerogative. Your groom is already going to be up at the altar; why can't you be too? Who says that you have to have a processional at all?. If you want to skip the walk but still want to honor your mom and dad, present them with flowers or other gifts during your ceremony.

10. Old School Rule: You have to leave for your honeymoon right after your reception.
New Rule: You can go on a honeymoon whenever you want. Heading straight to your honeymoon sounds romantic, but it can be a logistical nightmare. Think it over: You'd have to lug your luggage from the ceremony to the reception and keep your passport and plane tickets in a safe place the entire day. But even if you're the queen of organization, you'll be so exhausted from your whirlwind day that you'll want nothing more than to just veg out for a while with your new husband after the wedding. And that's okay! When you take a honeymoon is entirely up to you two (and maybe your boss a little bit). No matter if you leave the day after or the year after, it'll still be the wonderful, well-deserved vacation you always imagined it'd be.

List of Rules courtesy of The Knot

Cupcakes vs. Wedding Cakes: Which one is better?

Cupcakes vs. Wedding Cakes: Which one is better?

Wedding cupcakes keep popping up again and again in the media as a way to save money on your wedding or add a bit of whimsy to the reception. But what's the truth? Are cupcakes really a good alternative to a wedding cake? Based on cost, style, and tradition, which one will win?

COST:
When wedding cupcakes first became a trend, they were advertised as a great way to save money: spend a buck or two for a cupcake rather than $4 or $5 per slice for cake. But bakers soon caught on that doing wedding cupcakes are just as much work, if not more, than a traditional cake. Every single one of these cupcakes has to be baked and iced. If you're doing specialty decorations, you'll need one for each cupcake. And, most bakeries will rent you a cake stand, but you might have to purchase a cupcake stand.

On the other hand, it is easier for a non-professional baker to put together 150 cupcakes than trying to make an elaborate tiered cake. It's also easier to dress up grocery store cupcakes than it is to try to make a cheap wedding cake look fancy. In the end, it all comes down to choices.

Here are some little extras that make your wedding cupcakes special, but also might blow your budget:
• Specialty cupcake liners
To match your wedding colors approximately $0.10 each
Fancy laser cut cupcake liners approximately $1 each
• Sugar flowers
They could run between $0.30 - $9 per flower
• Monogrammed fondant hearts
Approximately $1 each
• Mini bride and groom cupcake toppers
Approximately $7.50 each
• Cupcake Stands
Wire stands that holds 38 cupcakes cost approximately $39.99

Acrylic and Mirror-finish Stands (7 tier) stands that holds 120 cupcakes cost approximately $69.99

Cardboard stands that holds 36-40 cupcakes cost approximately $4.79

Which one works best: A tie! When it comes down to the bottom line, you can do cupcakes more inexpensively than you can buy a wedding cake, but in the end being memorable is a valuable commodity. And it's cheaper to have a memorable wedding cake than to decorate each individual cupcake.

STYLE:
There's something so whimsically childlike about unwrapping a cupcake. And that's what people both love and hate about wedding cupcakes because they are fun and familiar but can be too casual and unsophisticated.

If you're having a formal wedding, you may want to stick with a grand and formal wedding cake. If your wedding guests are traditional people, they might think cupcakes are too casual, or worse, cheap.

But if you're having a relaxed reception where fun is the primary goal, tell everyone to be a kid again and grab a cupcake. Once they're up and having fun on the dance floor, they won't have to sit again for dessert. They'll just grab a cupcake and keep on groovin'.

Which one works best: Cupcakes! There's just a bit more punch to a cupcake. You can dress them up or down, but they'll always be fun.

TRADITION:
Wedding cakes have been the standard for over 100 years, and you may be sad to give up the traditions associated with them. Cupcakes barely leaves room for a cake topper, and the customary cake cutting looks a little comical when your cake is only 3 inches wide. But brides and grooms have found a way to have their cake and eat it too: get a small 6" cake to sit on the top of your cupcake tower. You can use this for the ceremonial cake cutting, and then freeze the rest for your 1-year anniversary.

Which one works best: Wedding Cake! Come on, this winner was a given. Even with all the tips I've given you, cupcakes will never be as elegantly traditional as wedding cake.

Overall, it's a tie! With the pros and cons you’ve come up with, and the help of a few tips I've given you here, you can figure out which is best for your wedding.

Grooms Must Do Wedding Calendar

Grooms Must Do Wedding Calendar

Grooms come in two basic types. Type A has approached wedding planning with enthusiasm, readily checking out reception venues, offering an opinion on invitation designs, and compiling well-thought-out wine lists. Type B hasn't done anything wedding-related since the proposal. Guys, if you're an A, congrats and don't stop the momentum; there's still a lot to do. If you're a B and want to upgrade, check out the calendar below, with its list of must-do and optional groom's duties.

12 Months Before

Propose. OK, hopefully you have done that already, or you wouldn't be reading (or being forced to read) this blog.

Tell your parents. They like her already, so how tough could this be?

Talk numbers. Who's going to pay for the wedding? Her parents, yours, the two of you, or some combination of the above? Discuss it with all relevant parties. Be honest, be brave, and be real.

9 Months Before


Visit the officiant with your fiancée. The officiant is the man or woman who will marry you and possibly give you premarital counseling.


Write half of the guest list. Your fiancée knows your closest friends and relatives, but what about Cousin Robert from Chicago. Write down a wish list of everyone you would like to invite; plan on whittling it down later when you compare notes.

Register for gifts. You'll be dining off the plates and drinking from the glasses for the rest of your life, too, so unless you don't mind staring at pink china for a few decades, offer an opinion if your fiancée gets too girly with her choices. Think of this as your opportunity to pick out things you both like.

Choose your best man and ushers. Pick people with whom you have a strong bond.

Go see photographers, caterers, bakers, and the rest. Do it because you love her—and because you might get some free food and cake.

6 Months Before

Arrange the honeymoon. Think about places that have always fascinated you. Consider your hobbies when look for a place.

3 Months Before


Figure out your clothes. The guys in your wedding party wear the same thing you do. If it's a tuxedo or morning coat, you all need to be fitted. E-mail everyone the details: store name and address, when to go, what to order.

Shop for wedding rings. Guys, you do get one of these.


Deal with the rehearsal dinner. If you're following tradition, this meal's on you or your parents. Ask your fiancée if she has a restaurant in mind.

Sign up for dance lessons. Get a few moves down and you'll feel okay when 200 pairs of eyes are staring at you.

1 Month Before


Write the vows. This is the ultimate way to personalize your ceremony.


2 Weeks Before

Get the marriage license. This is usually issued by your local county clerk. Call first to see what, if any, special paperwork you need, such as blood tests (log on to www.usmarriagelaws.com). Don't put this off—most states have a one- to five-day waiting period between the time the license is issued and the marriage ceremony.

Day before the Wedding


Grooming. Get your hair cut, trim your beard, or get a manicure. Do whatever you need to do to look your best that day.

Day of the Wedding


Greet your guest during the receiving line.


Perform the first dance.


Do a slow dance with each mom.

Make a toast. Grab the mike and say a brief and heartfelt thanks to your bride, her parents, your parents, and the guests.

Planning a Child's Birthday Party

Planning a Child's Birthday Party

The excitement of a child's birthday party builds to a feverish pitch as
the big event approaches, but sometimes chaos and budget overruns
do as well. Keep things happy and peaceful by making your game plan
well ahead of time and sticking to it.

1.) Set a party budget to cover the entire affair from food, decor and party bags to room rental or hiring an entertainer. Estimate the number of guests by using a cost-per-guest figure to help determine your venue, entertainment and food options.

2.) Remember that your child doesn't need an over-the-top party to have fun. Depending on his or her age, a picnic in the park can be just as much fun as an expensive party at a climbing gym.

3.) Depending on his or her age, give your child several party options and themes to choose from. Describe what comes with each so he or she will know the benefits and drawbacks before choosing. Keep it simple.

4.) Set a party time to best suit your child. Work around nap times for the four-and-under set; weekend mornings or afternoons for school kids; Friday or Saturday night for preteens or teens.

5.) Confirm the time, date and place (with a deposit if necessary). Ask what you'll need to supply, what the venue will provide, how early you can arrive to set up and when you're required to leave.

6.) Come up with ways to incorporate games and activities with party favors. Small, wrapped gifts discovered in a treasure hunt or piñata, become real memories of the party instead of an expected payoff. Test-drive all activities with your child and plan extras in case something doesn't pan out.

7.) When creating invitations include an ending time and an RSVP date, and, for kids under three, specify whether you'd like parents to stay.